No matter the age of your children, there is one place to start when they see the recent news coming from Israel: innocent people being harmed has no place in humanity.
Anywhere.
Absolutely no excuse.
But, this is only a start. Because, whether you have teens or elementary-schoolers, there are more questions coming – particularly in light of labels comparing the attacks by Hamas in Israel to our 9/11 and/or actions by Nazi Germany under Hitler.
Those labels might scare the hell out of our kids, generating questions from my kids and, likely, yours’s.
Here are a few and my plan of how to make sense of this illogical violence.
Why was Israel attacked (and why are they fighting back)?
With a long history of Israeli-Palestinian violence, I have to fight having a “here we go again” attitude toward this new war.
Much the opposite, I encouraged my kids to take a look at the history of the conflicts between religious fractions in Israel. Without context, there is no learning.
As you (and they) explore, so much of what they will find is charged with picking sides and biases – trying to decipher which side is the “right” one. Hamas is definitely wrong here. That said, I don’t think that picking sides helps kids better understand the world around them. Instead, I plan to tell them that Saturday’s ambush was as bad of a display of human cruelty as could be – reportedly decapitating women and children, kidnapping others whose only misstep was living adjacent to the Gaza Strip. That fact does not excuse them for researching the circumstances that fueled such hate through history.
After you touch on Saturday’s awful acts that dot the news screen, tell your kids to chase the history of the region. In fact, do more of that yourself because, I’m afraid, conflicts in the region may go on in perpetuity.
Here are two pieces of content I’ve found to be historically informative:
Plain English podcast with Derek Thompson (from 10/10/23): “Israel at War: Why did Hamas attack?”
From Reuters here
“How to Talk to Kids About What’s Happening in Israel Right Now”
Are we safe from such violence?
With any violence, anywhere, kids need to know they are safe.
I tell my children point blank: my most important job as your parent is to ensure your safety whether I am with you or not. Full stop, our kids are relatively safe. While I wouldn’t allow my kids to believe such violence could not ever happen nearby, I can confirm that it is far less likely here.
I won’t stop there.
Our secure lives, in fact, demand the responsibility of helping others who might not enjoy the same convenience – local or abroad. I talk to my kids about identifying ways to be better friends, neighbors, brothers and sisters, and evangelists of our relative good fortune.
Can we help?
I am not sure how we’d help – yet. I’ll remind my kids that long after the news cameras leave the Gaza Strip and the spilled blood of the innocent fades, people will still need help in/around the Gaza Strip in Israel. From our seat half a world away, we can best help by donating money (or time) to organizations that will channel supplies to the region efficiently.
A few are linked in the articles below:
From Time Magazine here
From USA Today here
Unfortunately, that’s how we might help for now.
Why might our Jewish friends feel scared?
One of the most important messages American kids need to hear is that this tragedy will likely impact their Jewish friends.
My daughter’s soccer teammates, in fact, skipped practice to attend a solidarity event at her synagogue last night – prompting questions about the link between Judaism and the attacks. Her question made me think of ways I should try to better understand the religion and religious persecutions – like anti-Semitism – as a person whose religious ties are loose at best.
Anti-Semitism is something kids should understand, especially now.
It is so difficult to parent when you are not the expert, don’t have much topical/firsthand knowledge, and cannot escape the horrific images of tragedy with your kids seated next to you watching the news. It sucks – plain and simple.
There is, though, opportunity here. Unfortunately, all people lose innocence when innocent people are senselessly lost. I don’t plan to allow this instance of lost innocence to be met with my family’s further ignorance.
There is no excuse.
So, I’ll let my kids watch the awful news.
I’ll tell them to ask me any questions.
I’ll search for the answers that I don’t know and encourage them to do the same.
Our family has to learn from the new Israeli conflict.
There is no excuse to do otherwise.
