I could do without much of what Coach Prime has brought to college football.
Call me an old curmudgeon, but I hate the “look at me”, “show me the money”, “it’s about the kids but let me be the loudest in the room” persona that Colorado’s head football coach, Deion Sanders, has captivated the eyes of the nation with.
I do, though, respect Coach Prime’s obvious love for his children – two of which are the stars of his current Buffalo team (sons Shedeur and Shiloh). There is super cool coverage of Sanders embracing Shiloh after an amazing pick six earlier this season. The pregame tv cameras have been careful to catch Coach Prime and his starting quarterback/son, Shedeur, take their customary 40-yard pregame stroll together each week. The first forty yards reportedly spent as “Shedeur’s dad”, the return trip as “his coach”.
Whether you like him or not, Coach Prime is a national phenomenon – a success by any on or off-the-field measure. This includes one that I highly respect: being a visible, attentive, black father.
Deion Sanders the player could do the unimaginable.
Coach Sanders’ impact is immeasurable.
But…
Just because Coach Prime has become the “it” coach does not mean each of us parents can do the same.
Deion Sanders is the parent-coach exception, not the new rule.
Don’t get me wrong, as I scan the sidelines of my own kids’ fields of play, I adore the participation of other parents as their kids’ coaches. Parents volunteering as coaches are the only way for recreational sports for very young athletes to survive in most of our communities.
Conventional wisdom (a.k.a. Google) outlines questions for parents to ask themselves as they decide they should continue coaching their children, like:
- How will your child respond to your coaching?
- How will I separate my roles as parent and coach with my kid?
This self-reflection might work for our elementary schooler, but parents of older kids know better. My experience tells me that after 10-year’s old, no parents should be coaching their kids, here’s why:
#1: Parent-coaches are often worse to their own kids.
#2: Parent-coaches eventually thwart their kids’ development.
#3: Parent-coaches on-field demands often tarnish their relationships at home.
#4: Friends of your kids (and other parents) might grow to dislike you as the parent-coach due to decisions made on the field.
#5: No parent-coach knows as much about the game as they think they do.
The above list not only lays out the rationale for parents to let only paid, professional coaches provide the instruction after the age of 10, each could be the reason that Coach Prime’s coaching of his sons is different.
First, there are grand total of 50 (!!!) members of the Colorado football coaching staff. How much individual coaching of his kids is Coach Prime REALLY doing amongst others? Not much I bet. There are no staff members helping the parent-coach screaming at their twelve year-old’s basketball team from the bench.
Next, for items #2 through #5, we must not forget that Deion is in an extra-elite class of athlete – the ultimate “1%-er” of all “1%-er’s”. That fact not only immediately solidifies his credibility for X’s and O’s, it provides the genetic chicken soup that produces similar, elite athletic abilities. I’m guessing his kids were amazing from the start – requiring no preferential treatment to play nor stoking any “that’s not fair” vibes from other teammates or parents.
Parent-coaches that I see holding on too long generally fall into two categories:
(a) “I played in college so I know the game”, or,
(b) “The kids have responded to me so far so let’s keep it going”
I make a practice of avoiding any parent-coach pushing that rationale immediately. It does not work long term.
Further, if I have to pay these fees for my 10+ year-old to participate, I want a coach that has the certifications, that has been hired based on credibility, and that someone else (who knows better than me) has determined them to be an expert.
Parent-coaches, I commend your effort.
I know you LOVE the game.
I know you LOVE your little ballers.
You mean well.
I get it.
I loved coaching my daughter’s soccer squad ten years ago. Those days spent fumbling coaching a game I’d never played were a lot of fun – for her and I.
I still love hearing “Hey, Coach Toby!”
But, there is a point where that ends – it has to.
Even if the national media’s coverage of Coach Prime will not anytime soon.
