Off to Basic: T+2 First Phone Call(s) and Letter

***My eldest son, Yosef, left for Army Basic Training in October. This series documents my parenting experience through his nearly three months away from home. Please note: this series is not affiliated with the U.S. Army National Guard in any way, all observations and opinions are my own. ***

A Week of Silence

We dropped my son, Yosef, off for his departure two and a half weeks ago.

His phone has been off since 1 am on that Monday, the last communication was a text saying he’d arrived at Fort Leonard Wood Base in Missouri. That seems like a year ago.

We miss him.

The (Kinda) First Phone Call

A week after Yosef had left home, during the mid-afternoon on Saturday, my phone lit up with his name. I gathered anyone within my ear-shot to join me to talk to Yosef. Instead of saying, “Hello!”, I went with a joke followed by “it’s my soldier”…bad idea.

When Yosef began, it was clear that he had very little time. This phone call was scripted, only so that we heard his voice.

In monotone, Yosef simply said, “This is Private Walsh, I’ve arrived safely at Fort Leonard Wood. I love you. Bye.”

Tip: when you receive this call, don’t saying anything except “Love you” at the end, otherwise you’re wasting the few seconds your SIT has. Also, you cannot crack them into conversation because there is likely a Drill Sergeant nearby.

Two Weeks of Nothing (Much)

For all the evils of social media, one nice feature is that there are pages for everything – even for Basic Training battalions and for Reception at a specific base.

In fact, within the first week, I’d located a Facebook page for FLW’s “Reception” process and joined as a member. And, to my surprise, there were PICTURES posted of the new recruits that had just arrived on the buses that Yosef would have taken.

I combed those 17 pictures for a glimpse of my son and….NOTHING.

I read comments from parents who were overjoyed to see their SIT and from others, like me, that left disappointed at not seeing a picture of theirs’s. Seeing other families impacted my these photos was oddly gratifying. In fact, it was cool to see the diversity of people Yosef would be training with – from all walks of life, all ages, dads, moms, from all over the country.

Note: While these social pages exist, don’t get your hopes up – they aren’t updated much while your kid is going through their initial processing.

Further note: When your soldier transitions to his battalion, there will be a new Facebook page to link up to.

The First Real Phone Call

A few weeks went by and I’d read that Sundays were the day that, if things went okay all week, soldiers could call home. My phone was glued to be this Sunday, now three weeks removed from last talking to my son.

And, sure enough, at 1 pm a Facetime call popped up from his phone to mine.

Opposite of the initial call where I started with a joke, I was quiet when Yosef’s face popped up, “Hey Dad!”

If I could bottle the feeling of seeing Yosef in that moment.

It was glorious to see and hear him – and crazy to see Yosef in Army green looking so grown up. I choked back as much emotion as I could, trying to stay strong because, as my recruiters had advised, my job during this time was to build him up and tell him to keep going.

For this call, Yosef was told he had 30 minutes. We used it catching up, talking about how he’d been spending his time, and how he felt physically and mentally. There did not seem to be any restrictions on what he spoke about. I tried to pick up on clues that he might be struggling or that he needed something and, to my delight, did not detect much. I kept reminding myself that my goal on the call was to listen, encourage, and to be outwardly so proud of him. I tried my best to keep cool, calm, and collected.

The call abruptly ended when after an announcement on the loud speaker and loud siren rang out, calling them back to the barracks.

That call was one of the highlights of my parenting life to date.

Sending and Receiving Mail

While we spoke on the phone for the first time that Sunday, Yosef informed me that we’d be receiving an official letter in the mail telling us how to send mail to him while at Basic. That letter arrived a few days later and laid out the methods, rules, and restrictions associated with soldiers sending and receiving packages.

Note: processing time is about two weeks for your kid to receive something. Our families strategy is to send something on Wednesdays each week. Everything I’ve read or seen about Basic says that mail is uplifting to your son or daughter during this time away. We shared his address with close friends in case they wanted to send a letter as well.

A few days after this official letter, we received our first letter from Yosef. Much of the content were things we’d spoken about, but it was awesome to see his (terrible) handwriting and added details about his experience at Reception. Yosef’s siblings could take turns reading the letter and thinking about what they might write back to him next week.

At this point in the process of parenting through Basic Training, I feel like the family is settling in – missing our soldier like crazy, but fortified by his determination to get through it.

Prior to this point, the waiting and silence is a real struggle. After this point, I believe, we all need to develop a new cadence to ensure our soldier that they are strong, we are so damn proud of them, and, alas, they are representing us well.

This week, Yosef and our family seemed to have turned a corner – thankfully.