Me first.
Followers and likes.
My big, diamond chain.
My kid.
Look at me.
My offers.
PUKE.
Sigh….
We have undoubtedly entered a self-centered era of sports.
This is an era where the team has never meant less. This is a time where, regrettably, the name on the back of the uniform is far more important than that which lines the front. Sports are “me first” now.
We’ve seen the “me first” mentality at the top levels of sport – the NFL, NBA, and Division I college sports – with increasing frequency. And, while youth sports has been relatively immune to the stain of the “me first”, self-centered direction high level sports is taking, I’m afraid the tide is coming in for parents.
Faced with increasing pressures at lower levels of participation, and against a backdrop of athletes our little ballers idolize that are rewarded by the “me first” mentality, how are parents to preserve ideals that have been the basis for our kids participating in the first place: to build relationships, work toward common goals, and to foster a stronger sense of community?
Are these qualities lost?
Do these things matter anymore?
What parents should do is to expect that the selfishness that drives professional sports decisions will trickle down to our elementary school levels (if it hasn’t already). And, since that outcome is inevitable for those of us taking kids to practice every night, we should be looking at lessons we can teach our kids as the rewards of self-centered behavior seem to expand.
Most recently, there are two such situations from the football field that provide solid examples of lessons that still ring trust in a “me first” world.
Shadeur Sanders Sinks
According to every NFL Draft analyst, Colorado quarterback and son of NFL Hall of Famer, Deion Sanders, Shadeur Sanders was a lock to be a first round selection last Thursday night.
Sander, though, waited.
And waited…
And waited…
Sanders waited so long, in fact, that a few college pranksters cat-phished him (totally distastefully btw) before he was finally selected by the Cleveland Browns as the 144th overall pick in the fifth round. It was awful to see cameras documenting the plunge. But, to his credit, the Colorado quarterback was unflappably thankful as reporters poked him about his draft night free fall during interviews. On the good side, we should have our kids watch the way Sanders handled a big, public bit of humble pie. I had to be tough to show an upbeat face in such a time of public disappointment.
What led to his plummeting draft position, though, is a a cautionary tale to tell our kids. While there were “measurables” (ie: arm strength and accuracy) that were in question, much of the reporting about Sanders’ descension have been centered on his lackluster personal interview with teams. More than anything, this should tell parents that bloated arrogance – even in this “me first” era – only hurts potential advantages and, by association, short-term value.
There is room for our little athletes to look out for their best interests, but there are consequences to over-playing your hand. I talked to my kids about the difference between someone marveling at their abilities as they watch from the sideline as opposed to posting a highlight reel that draws a bunch of likes.
It’s just different. When the margins are thinnest, the most mundane details and qualities matter the most.
Let’s teach that to our children.
Nico Iamaleava’s Cross-Country Trek
The day before the University of Tennessee’s spring scrimmage, the team’s star quarterback no-showed. Nico Iamaleave, last year’s starting signal-caller and former five-star recruiting prospect, sent a message to the school via his agent that demanded a raise from his current salary of $2 million. Reports say that representatives of the 20-year-old star athlete were requesting an updated salary of nearly $4 million.
Tennessee balked at the raise and, ultimately, watched as their starting quarterback landed in UCLA’s backfield. The terms of the deal that has Iamaleave wearing the Bruins’ light blue and gold were not disclosed and are debatable. The fact that Iamaleave landed on his feet, near his hometown, and pushed out an incumbent player looking forward to his big chance to take the field are unquestionably confirmed.
Different than the Shadeur Sanders’ situation, there seems to be no personal downside to Iamaleave. Sure, he takes his lumps in the press, but those will subside once we throws for 300 yards against crosstown rival USC.
So, if our little ballers noticed Iamaleava getting what he wanted by doing the equivalent of stomping his feet in checkout aisle, what do we tell them?
If parents like me accept that we need to coach our kids within (not ignoring) the “me first” mentality, we must explain the concept of leverage. This is the concept that clearly explains that the way to create the most value is to be the best. A piece of being great is elevating those around you on the field. A part of being the best involves that ability to earn privileges that “role players” might not have access to.
As we talk about the Iamaleave situation, though, let’s be careful to point out that the young man, while really rich, has left a burning bridge from Knoxville to Los Angeles. There may not be consequences today, but there likely will be down the road – at the NFL Draft or as he throws a pick-six to lose a critical game this season. Maybe the biggest consequence comes later, when he sits in a massive, pimped-out mansion in Malibu surrounded by people that stand to profit off of this athletic ability, hard work, and success. That is a sad living room in my opinion.
That’s what I plan to teach my kids because parents have to evolve. We should resist the urge to fall into the nostalgic trap of explaining the time where the star player put a championship in front of a swollen bank account. Our kids would call that foolish and stop listening.
Instead, I’m choosing to work within the new “me first” mentality begrudgingly because we don’t have a choice. That doesn’t mean, though, that we let the lessons of these idols go unnoticed. These lessons will have to be digested in ways that don’t ignore the things a sports field will always provide: a place to come together.
As I do so, I’m hoping my kids will continue to ignore the “likes” and listen to “me first.”
