My soon-to-be senior son, Yosef, and I have now visited five colleges in Florida – Florida State University, Florida Gulf Coast University, Florida Atlantic University, Tallahassee State College, and Florida A&M University. These experiences have taught me a few lessons that could help you when the time comes.
Lesson #1: Sign Up for the Guided Tour, skip the DIY version
Taking an official, student-led on-campus tour is so much more meaningful than popping by the campus yourself. Sure, I walked round FAU with Yosef independently, but did we really get a feel for the environment? Not really.
At FSU and FGCU, on the other hand, we were led by a current student through academic buildings, sample dorm rooms, and allowed to ask impromptu questions about general campus life.
Take the time to book the tour. And, if you are able, do so while a semester is in session so that you can see the campus in its full normalcy.
Lesson #2: Equal mix of social vs. school
Other parents touring with us seemed far too focused on the academic side of colleges to me. I’m sorry, no kid cares about the Artificial Intelligence lab.
I’m not suggesting that a tour focuses on only the social aspects of attending the school, but, I do wish parents would quell the urge to focus on the expected major of their almost senior. Come on, these kids (mostly) have no idea if they’ll be spending more time in the Chemistry Building or Entrepreneurial Center.
Parents, before you leave campus, make sure your kid has a decent grasp of the social opportunities afforded to them if they so choose.
Lesson #3: Local eats
Before or after walking the campus, leave some time to hit up a local spot for some food. The act of figuring out where a decent, local spot is located in relation to the dorms is a worthwhile expedition. Fun fact: the servers are a great resource for real student life.
Lesson #4: The “feel”
I keep telling Yosef that much of decision will boil down to a gut feeling he has – something that I cannot really help him with.
I can help with all the facts, but the “feel” I cannot. Some of the feel begins during the car ride to the campus and ends once you leave – does it feel too far/too close, too big/small, too secluded/crowded? I guess that it is our job to focus our kids on paying attention how they feel before, during, and after the tour.
Lesson #5: Your senior leads
I have been enjoying every part of these days with my son. No matter where he decides to go (or not), I feel like these visits are a way for me to start to visualize the day where I send Yosef out into the world. It is hard not to interjet my opinions, to let him make mistakes, but it’s part of the deal.
For now, though, it’s time for him to be a kid – and start the college application process.
Good morning, Toby, I just want to say hi and tell you that I love reading your posts. It makes me smile, laugh and sad at times. I’m reliving raising BJ and Leigh through you.