***My eldest son, Yosef, left for Army Basic Training in October. This series documents my parenting experience through his nearly three months away from home. Please note: this series is not affiliated with the U.S. Army National Guard in any way, all observations and opinions are my own. ***
End of September, Departure Date: October 1st
One week before my son leaves for the first time in his life and his chill attitude has me stressed. Yosef does not seem overly concerned with making the rounds to say goodbyes, or with tying up any loose ends around the house, or even researching what he should (and should not) be packing.
To tame my fears of his lack of urgency, I have remained in touch with Yosef’s Army National Guard recruiters. These guys are great and always respond to texts or calls within a few hours. They have assured me that Yosef has the list of things to bring to Basic Training. Further, they share that there is not much to bring and his USANG backpack should suffice.
Pre-departure lesson #1: I’d encourage your soldier to check in with their recruiters to ensure their paperwork is in order as well as to confirm the identification documents needed to enter Reception (the initial few days prior to joining a platoon at Basic Training). Any paperwork missteps will result in unnecessary delays – some of which you’d be dealing with alone.
The week leading up to Yosef’s departure, began to introduce me to an aspect of parenting through Basic Training that I was not prepared for – the unknown. I quickly learned that much of what I was asking – from clothes to types of shoes to the sequence of Basic – were unknown to my son and to his local recruitment team. Yep, you won’t feel like you know what’s going on.
This, I think, was our indoctrination into letting go of our little boy. Yosef was leaving on Sunday and, I guess, by the Thursday before I became to lay off a bit. It was fine that I didn’t know where he’d be going, how he’d get there, or who he’d be traveling with.
Pre-departure lesson #2: I had to make peace with not having any control.
When I came around to letting Yosef go, I was able to better focus on my last few days hanging out together. That would be my one piece of advice: relax and block the entire weekend leading up to your soldier’s departure to be together, to eat at your favorite spots, and to tell them how proud you are of them. Make sure to include the entire family on these things – even if they don’t really get along with the sibling that is leaving.
During this week, my emotions ranged from manic to depressed to frustrated. The week was a combination of wrapping things up at home for your recruit while attempting to find time to give them the confidence they need to know they’ll be successful. As a parent, be prepared to feel shunned. But, alas, this is THEIR future (not ours’s).
So, I’d say to chill out – just like my son, Yosef, did during the week leading up to his Basic Training departure. Enjoy the time and take the opportunity to reinforce the pride you have for their choice to serve.
Everyone – you, your soldier, and the entire family – will need these affirmations because Basic Training will be tough on all.
