***While an advanced copy of the title was provided, all opinions are my own***
Self-deprecating, dad humor from a big-time Comedian? Sign me up for Chris Gethard’s newest creation, an audio and e-book entitled The Lonely Dad Conversations available exclusively on Scribd NOW.
Gethard bounces his parenting experiences around with friends and details their conversations in the creative manner we’d expect from the witty, comic storyteller. These interviews with friends provide the basis for Gethard’s hope that no parent will feel alone.
Gethard explained first-hand this intentions for the book in my interview with him below:
GBD Question 1: You mention hoping the book is cathartic for parents. When you first became a parent, what did you turn to for a similar outlet? What might this book do differently?
CG: When I first became a parent, I felt many different emotions that were completely new to me. Most of my resources only extended as far as my friends who became parents before me. Basically, I had a lot of nervous conversations and texts about what to expect, and was largely blindsided.
It’s no secret that men do a lousy job of talking about their feelings. In creating this book, I wanted to foster a space for dads to have candid conversations about fatherhood – the good, the bad, and the ugly. My biggest hope was that other dads (new or old) could drop in on these conversations and think “hey, I’m not alone!” By getting my friends to talk and committing it to the book, I’m hoping a lot of other dads out there find it useful as a resource where it feels like they’re getting a ton of information as a fly on the wall as friends hash out all the insane life changes that come with parenting.
GBD Question 2: Did any friend/acquaintances have reservations about providing such an inside look at vulnerable topics? Do you believe they are representative of parents more broadly?
CG: A lot of my friends expressed that they’d never spoken with anyone about these feelings before I interviewed them for this book. These were thoughts they held in and dwelled on.
Every single dad and parenting experience is different, but I learned that we do share similarities as well. I think in the end, these conversations were cathartic for my collaborators and hopefully for readers and listeners as well.
I was very wary of positioning this book in any way that made it sound like dads have it harder than moms, or anything like that. Let’s be clear, moms have the hardest job in the world. I think that by turning the spotlight onto dads, they were surprised by how much they had been holding in. When you think about it, this is pretty typical considering the roles men have traditionally held in familial structures.
GBD Question 3: You talk about a feeling of loneliness in parenting (especially in the beginning). Many of your interviewees re-branded that with another feeling: pressure, angst, or anxiety. Do you believe there is a difference in how each is feeling, or is the restated feeling a reflection of the life upheaval of having kids?
CG: Some people understood the loneliness. Others knew where it was coming from but labeled it differently. I had one friend astutely point out that whatever your achilles heel is a person, parenting really shines a magnifying glass on it. If you’re insecure, expect that get to worse. If you have anger issues, buckle up and really try to keep a lid on them. For me it’s loneliness. For some of the other dads I spoke to it was guilt issues or panic. The upheaval is very real, and the emotions it churns to the surface are too.
GBD Question 4: Some dads get edgy about being a “backseat passenger”, but most of those you interviewed felt this. Do you think this feeling persists regardless of how involved a dad is with a new baby? What should new dads learn from that reality?
CG: I think that feeling like a “backseat passenger” is common for dads. Working through family dynamics isn’t necessarily easy. I have a sincere hope that dads and guys hoping to be dads will get a lot out of this book. But I also think if you’re trying to understand your partner, or understand your own dad, this backseat passenger stuff might go a long way. The consistency with which my interviewees told me that as dads they’re hanging on for dear life, are aware they’re messing things up, aren’t ever sure how they got in over their heads, and don’t really express it to anyone… it was astounding. That’s why I hope this book isn’t just a “dad book”, I hope it’s just as much a “understand what’s under the surface of the overwhelmed dad in your life” book.
GBD Question 5: What is the most important lesson for parents in the end? Is this different whether you are a new dad or are raising older children?
CG: I would say to make it your own. There are a few old, antiquated ideas that have been passed down from generation to generation. It’s okay to abandon those ideas. This is about breaking the mold into a new era of dads who are open and honest. In the end, we all just want what’s best for our kids. And on those stressful days remember, you’re not the only one.
No parent is ever alone – in the joy, pain, dirty diapers, teenage frustrations, with older kids, or as a new parent with a crying infant. Chris Gethard’s new book, The Lonely Dad Conversions, certainly confirms that.
Promotional Blurb:
In this hilariously deep audio and e-book, Chris uses his hallmark self-deprecating humor to shed light on fatherhood and men’s shared experiences. He finds the humanity and humility of fatherhood as he sits down with some of his closest comrades for no-holds-barred conversations about transitioning to dad life. Whether it’s bringing catharsis to a confused dad or giving insight into the “dad-brain,” Chris’s book shows readers that they are validated in their own personal experiences & that they aren’t alone!.
With a mission to push readers to break the stigma surrounding men’s emotions, The Lonely Dad Conversations is the perfect read for dads at any stage of fatherhood. If interested, I would be happy to share a copy for review or coverage consideration
Links:
Learn more about Chris Gethard (here)
Buy The Lonely Dad Conversations here
