Have the non-believing kids hide the (#$%$#%$#) Elf

Three of my five kids know the deal. In fact, my oldest children each hand-select many of their own gifts.

For my two littlest, though, the majesty of the holiday season abounds. They each make wish lists and put them in the mailbox addressed to the North Pole. Watching the magic of Christmas through their eyes is as adorable as it is annoying that my older children tip-toe toward ruining the entire thing with each passing day.

My older kids almost blow our cover everyday –

Vivi (12) wants to dig through shopping bags as the little ones watch.

Lynden (14) talks far too casually about tags being left on presents from Santa in years past.

Yosef (15), stares blankly if his younger, believing siblings allude to the big jolly man in the red suit visiting every household in the world on Christmas Eve.

The season has barely started and I’m wondering if its allure can hang on. And, because I am constantly reminded of what the future of my 8 and 6 year-old holds, I am determined to keep the Christmas belief alive in my home for as long as possible.

Their innocent faith in the Christmas story keeps them little to me – and pushes the reality of phone-gazing teenagers further away.

In attempting to protect my little believers from their non-believing siblings, I have discovered three methods:

#1 – Threatening

You may identify this strategy by the following phrase that you’ve probably uttered:

“If you tell your brother/sister ANYTHING about Santa Claus, you’re GROUNDED!!!”

-Any parent in a mixed believer household

Idle threats have not seemed to work for me.

First off, it was much easier to issue directives when a single non-believer existed in the house. When my oldest was on his own, non-believing island his solitude united us in the deception of his siblings. Now, with 60% of the household keyed into the whole truth, my kids see these threats as (rightfully) hallow. In fact, I am out-numbered by non-believing teenagers who enjoy seeing us need their help.

These threats can create unnecessary work on their own. After all, I follow a quick rule of thumb: any disciplinary actions that require management, follow-up, and future accountability are, simply, too much effort.

All that said, I’m skipping that threats this holiday season.

#2 – Bribery

Don’t act like you are above offering up a “prize” for good behavior! We all do it. What about the $20 bills for good grades or the ice cream for the soccer goal?

Paired with the holiday season, this strategy looks something like:

“If you can keep our little secret through Christmas, I’ll let you stay up as late as you want on New Year’s Eve!”

-Any parent in a mixed believer household

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While effective, bribing kids with special privileges, money, or things can be tricky though. The duration of the pay-off matters. Promising a late bedtime to ring in the New Year, in fact, may seem too far in the future for a non-believing sibling. Anything that involves something now (ie: candy, a gift, cash) can open Pandora’s box – often creating higher stakes as the holiday season moves on.

The price of bribery may get steep as every non-believer in the house will want a piece of the action. If Sally gets $1 for keeping quiet in the mall Santa line, you’d better assume Jimmy will want one, too.

I plan to attempt to stay away from a bribing strategy for my non-believers.

But, rest assured, I’m not above it.

***Picture me handing $1’s out like a carnival worker.***

#3 – Enlist the Non-Believers

Even if my older children no longer believe, I find that they want to half-believe. Just like I do, they tend to miss the times where they were none the wiser. So, like any good parent, I use their fleeting, nostalgic memories to my advantage during the holidays.

There is no better symbol of how to keep the Christmas spirit flowing in a mixed-believer household then the infamous, parenting nemesis: The Elf on the Shelf.

Yes, the dreaded Elf can ACTUALLY be the conduit by which your older, non-believing kids can safeguard the magic of the holiday season for the littles ones in the house.

Enlist your children in the nightly movement of that !#$#@ Elf, as follows:

“Okay, since you know the deal, I need your help. You are in charge of placing the Elf in a new spot each night. Each of you take a turn, try to be the most creative, and see if you can do such a good job that your little sister will remember it next year! There may even be a surprise for the most creative Elf placement.”

-Me, December 1st the last two years

This strategy is the best for competitive kids that still have self-interest in the perpetuation of the magic of the holiday season. All of a sudden, the last-minute, lame Elf hiding I used to do (if I remembered) turns into an older sibling competition of Elf hide-and-seek.

It’s a parenting win-win.

Yes, let your non-believing kids hide the ##$%$#%$#% Elf on the Shelf while you sip your spiked hot cocoa and your littles still believe that jolly man in the red suit will fill their stockings with goodies on Christmas morning.

Trust me, it will work – far better than cash or punishment.

You may, though, want to have some $1’s on standby while you begin to worry about the Easter Bunny.

Happy Holidays!