Day 3
Have you broken down yet?
I am standing in the checkout line yesterday during an essential trip the grocery store with my gallon of skim milk and dozen eggs when I feel it – a sudden, heightened sense of frustration and hopelessness.
Maybe it was the older gentlemen behind me that had me triggered – he wasn’t standing nearly far enough away. I wanted to shout, ‘Behind the blue tape, man!’
I started to lament that I get the same daily ration of eggs as a single person despite having a family with five kids.
Just then, the seemingly nice lady in front of me coughed – what the hell?
I left the store in an angry huff, took the wheel and, before moving, hung my head. I needed a minute – a few minutes – to pull myself out of the pissed off state of mind I’d been living in.
My wife told me about a similar breakdown as she drove to Target to pick up a few items.
Have you had your momentary breakdown yet?
During COVID it is far too easy to be angry – at neighbors, friends, at your kids who are now your students, at the family dog, at the burrito delivery guy for standing at the door – just leave the food on the porch!
I’m on edge.
I’m tired – even though I get adequate sleep.
I’m sad.
Parents, better than most, have a fully developed set of muscles that allow us to lose it in short stints while, ultimately, garnering the fortitude to bull-doze through. It’s time to drum up our muscle memory.
Use the mental muscles that helped us persevere through sleepless, infant nights or to bake the birthday cake at 11 p.m. because tomorrow is our daughter’s party.
We’ve developed the wherewithal to be laid off, but keep a confident stride in the eyes of our children.
Parents can do it and, maybe, because we are allowed to lose it from time-to-time (and more often right now).
Finding the Funny
When you’re forced to spend this much time with your kids, it’s funny the little glimpses you get into their impressions of you. My kids, in the last week, have commented:
“Dad, you’re cleaning the garage and using a chainsaw? You’d never do that before.”
“I can’t believe you actually watch something other than sports, Dad!”
“Can all older dudes not jump, Dad – or just you?”
“When you were my age, were movies in color?”
Parting Perspective
My kids are spending a ton of additional time on screens – not only the for e-Learning work – and, it’s okay.
The prevailing wisdom regarding screen times and kids has dramatically changed from a model that counts hours to one that access the content kids are watching.
Don’t allow yourself to stress about holding kids to a pre-COVID allotment of time spent on a device. Set up fair rules that work for you, the amount of non-screen activity you’d prefer and an amount that allows you to unplug from being their teacher, principle, referee and mom or dad.
Screen time during the COVID crisis is not the same as before – so don’t beat yourself up about it.
We’re another day closer.
The beer is another day colder.
The wine’s further aged.
You’re doing great.
Your kids appreciate the effort.
Parent on.
More to come.
