I beg your pardon that I’m only half listening when you mentioned that your little genius should be reading above a red dot level. I simply don’t share your frustration although my own kindergartner, Everett, is currently a red dot too.
Whether he’s reading at the entry level (red) or the next step up (yellow), I only really care about the agonizing ten minutes of time I spend each morning exercising patience as he starts to sound out “the” with “TTTTAAAAA.”
Every piece of me wants to scream, “It’s THE – just like two words before!”
It’s not that I don’t care about his reading level. Wait, I really don’t care about Everett’s current position on this arbitrary scale.
And, while I’m apologizing, I’ll preemptively let you know that I don’t look forward to catching up at Aiden’s 6th birthday party next weekend. Everett will be at the party, but, I, can’t make it.
I’ll walk him in, make sure he has the birthday gift, fling him 20 bucks for video games and assure him I’ll be back about five minutes after the party is scheduled to end. Everett will be just fine – trust me, he knows the drill.
In my hurried drop-off, I won’t talk to you. I’ll be moving rather quickly and really don’t care to chit-chat. Because, with all due respect, I don’t especially care to plan play dates or meet-ups at the local Chuck-E-Cheese to get the boys together more often.
But, before you assume that I’m a grumpy, hermit who is preparing my son for a lifetime of illiterate solitude, let me explain.
Everett is my fourth child progressing through kindergarten. I’m a seasoned veteran at the early elementary years. But, trust me, when our oldest son sat in his first elementary school desk, I cried.
As this school year began, my eyes were dry – replaced with the wide, toothy smile of an adult that was just given back six hours of daily quiet at home. Whatever my little guy learns is a bonus – icing on a cake of exhausted parenting.
I’m completely de-sensitized to Everett’s kindergarten issues – the ones that seem to consume your thoughts when we chat at pick-up and drop-off each day. I’m not dismissive of your need to keep your little, budding genius at a close arms-length. I get it. I do.
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Whether a red dot or green, an early potty-trainer or a late-bloomer, a booger-eater or Kleenex-toter, our kindergartners will continue to need us less and less.
So, while you may be worried at my outward indifference to today’s issues in the kindergarten room, maybe it is me that should be worried about you.
I’m worried that you’re pouring too much concern into your little genius to fill a void that will only increase in size.
I’m concerned that the emails you send asking why he’s not a yellow dot will, eventually, drive a good teacher to read your note, roll their eyes and push your kid forward just to placate your newest gripe.
What worries me is that smothering junior now leads to a future “the world revolves around me” attitude that, trust me, you don’t want.
But, despite the differences in our approach to our kids’ kindergarten education, we’re the same. We want the best for our little scholars and hope they are learning to be good citizens of their communities.
We each, I think, want our kids to laugh joyfully and play whimsically without regard for looking cool or foolish.
I don’t get spun up about red dots, if Everett’s ready for sleepovers or organizing play dates. I just want my 4th kindergartener to be eager to go to school each morning.
I’m not saying you’re doing anything wrong. On the contrary, watching your feverish management of your kindergartner makes me understand that, in some ways, I need to re-start and freshen up my approach.
My eyes also tell me, though, that you might need to tame it down.
The truth, I gather, is best discovered in the middle of you and I. Even my red dot, 4th kindergartner would agree.
