Millionaires will be created at this weekend’s NFL Draft.
That will not happen here.
The NFL’s big night, though, had me thinking about the qualities that parents covet (and not) in our kids. Mostly, this is a list of things I hear parents brag about that leave me rolling my eyes (and vice versa).
Top Five Most OVER-rated Kid Traits – the skills that most parents adore in their children, but I think are, in the end, worthless.
#1: Smart
Nothing tunes a fellow parent out than bragging up a straight-A report card (at any age). I am not saying a good grade point is not valuable, but it is more a commentary on the grade inflation than aptitude. Hell, valedictorians have 4.8 CUM GPA’s now. Give me a grinder, you can have the whiz-kid.
#2: Athletic
Stand on any youth sports sideline and you’ll find a parent – particularly at younger ages – that thinks their 6-year-old has the potential to play at the highest level. The statistics do not lie – only the very best of the very best even will sniff sports after 16.
#3: Good sleeper
My (now) 17-year-old was an amazing sleeper after settling in our home post-adoption. With each other child we had (all poor sleepers as babies), I remember coveting six hours of uninterrupted sleep more than anything. I still love to sleep, no doubt, but my oldest drives me nuts with the noon Saturday alarms. Good sleepers become apathetic teens. (Parents of older kids, please tell me this is a phase.)
#4: Obedient
Every parent loves a kid that listens and dutifully obeys – these children are easy, helpful, and, even, seemingly more responsible. The over-rated part, for me, centers on the possible ineptitude super obedient kids show in ambiguity. Can your kids think “outside the box” or succeed when rules do not exist?
#5: Funny
I love laughing with my five kids, I do. They are all uniquely funny.
A good session of laughs with my kids, though, often ends with the room upset at an over-the-top comment that is offensive and overly personal. Humor is a double-edged sword. The youngest kids that are the funniest are often the most wild or insecure – both phenomena that seem to hold through the later years.
Top Five Most UNDER-rated Kid Traits – those things parents find challenging, that I think matter.
#1: Social
My kids think I’m “old school” when I implore them to call their friends to (physically) hangout, or, (gasp) engage a somewhat familiar stranger in conversation. Our kids refuse to ask questions to humans, they are rarely asked to mingle around people they don’t know, and most would rather sink into online game-playing than attend the high school football contest. Even in a digital world, social skills still matter – at least until an A.I. takes over writing this.
#2: Creative
At early ages, creativity can be messy and unplanned – like building forts in the living room, or jumping into the leaf pile in the front yard. I know that I cringe when my youngest wants to help bake cookies or clean the bathroom. Innovation cannot happen without coloring outside the lines. I truly hope that my children do not bound themselves to today’s norms and expectations.
#3: Curious
Every one of our children has grown up with the world at their fingertips and, from my seat, they continue to squander that gift in favor of an idiot YouTubers or endless Tik Tok Reels. Instead of arguing with them about LeBron being the G.O.A.T., how about I tell them to list their top five all-time NBA players? Instead of playing Fortnite each night, how about learning how the gaming phenomenon came to be? Kids too often over-emphasize results versus the processes that created them.
#4: Self Awareness
My #1 parenting goal is that my kids have a clear and unwavering knowledge of themselves by the time they are adults – from clothing preferences, to communication style, to ability to learn, to their needs in a healthy relationship. Too many kids try to build a personal brand without an understanding of diverse basket of skills they bring to the world around them.
#5: Impatient
At the speed of business, education, and influence, overly patient kids will be quickly surpassed by more eager, more driven contemporaries – maybe even A.I. While impatient kids can strike parents as annoying, pushy, or high-maintenance, they are often the first to be noticed and rewarded.
All families have ideas of valuable skills for kids. What are yours’s? I’d love to hear if you feel differently (or even the same). One thing we can all agree on is that we aren’t millionaires like this weekend’s NFL draftees.
